**NOTE**. I wrote this last weekend and forgot to post! This was from my two amazing nights out in southern Vermont with two amazing women.

I’m in a cramped tent using my jacket as a crappy pillow. I learned too late in the day that my camping pillows no longer retain air. I’m bound for a few tough nights ahead.

My pack is completely overloaded with snacks and cheese and possibly even a box of wine…and a bottle, too. Because, dude… it’s two nights.

The only thing that’s different this time, from one year ago when I was curled up on the floor of a LT shelter, is that one of my favorite girls is with me tonight curled up at my feet.

I’m out for two nights with my friend and her daughter. It’s her daughters first time out backpacking and I am so so lucky they asked me to join. We came down to one of my most memorable spots from last year… Stratton Pond.

Stratton Pond is the largest pond on the LT. And when traveling northbound, it’s, if I recall properly, the first shelter with a caretaker. This site was GORGEOUS. This was the place where a good-looking dad out with his college daughter and her friend, tried desperately to pick up Julia. He failed when he asked her if I was her daughter. Come on, man.

But there are so many things I’m reminded of being out here. Like the time I had some red wine and some white so I mixed it together to make a very terrible rose…it was backcountry rose and very very terrible.

When I think back now on last summer, I’m mostly horrified. I set my tent up a few times under huge widow-makers, and I didn’t even think about it. Every time I remember that now, I shudder.

And all the critters at night!!! The one good thing about having Dolly with me is that I feel slightly better about her scaring off any bears that might come sniffing around.

There was the time I closed my vestibule before bed, with my croc strategically placed inside…only to find the croc on the opposite side of my tent in the morning. I DO NOT want to know what came into my vestibule that night…that was very unnerving. And the bigger question is how did I actually sleep through that? I barely slept at all that night!

The LIGHTENING STORM. On THE RIDGE. That may have been one of the stupidest things I did that summer. That was truly awful. But I was so scared that I all I wanted was to be with someone, and this girl showed up so I just chased after her. But the whole time knowing that I should stop at the ski lift and at least wait out then lightening….ugh that was awful.

Let us not forget the BIG ANIMAL night and the fear that overtook me at 1:30 in the morning…so much so that I almost turned around and started hiking BACK the 3.5 miles we had already hiked during our redneck shot-gunning four-wheeler escape! I don’t know that I’ve ever been that scared in all my life. Until the lightening storm!

And how about waking up on the side of a cliff the next morning that we didn’t see at 2am when we finally made it to camp??? That would have been an unfortunate disaster.

There were those terrifying crevasse jumps on Mansfield and Camel’s, when I decided that I would not take another step forward and that I now lived at the crevasse.

In fact, I spent most of last summer terrified. Terrified, in pain, not sleeping, angry, and hungry. So whyyyyy do I miss those weeks on the trail SO MUCH???!!!

I have great memories of my brother, Scott, taking the Boy Scout troop TO SCHOOL on building a fire in the pouring rain while their leader told us how great he was at literally everything…except, apparently, building a fire in the rain. (Side note: please don’t use privy mulch to start fires. And please don’t let your GIANT GROUP take over the entire shelter!)

There was the LAUGHTER that persisted watching Scott become uber frustrated by the fact that he DID NOT LISTEN TO ME and packed WAY too much stuff. Three pairs of shoes??? Five pounds of trail mix??? The largest first aid kit that I’ve ever seen??? And that PONCHO!

There were all of my friends who came out to join me when I was at some of my lowest times to help keep me moving, and the hiking community at the Long Trail Inn, with the most expensive whiskey I’ll ever buy, that Tawny and I shared that night when I wanted to throw in the towel.

And there were the friends that I made along the way.

And then there was the feeling of finally making it to Canada, and seeing the border etched out of the trees as we looked south. That’s a moment I will never forget.

These days hiking feels different. I ended up with a bulging disc after my trip from carrying my pack and all the impact of the trail. My knees feel like they will forever shake and quiver on a descent. And basically any pack feels wildly heavy at this point!

But being out here these last few days, and out in the woods hiking and camping these last few weeks, reminds me of how much I crave this time and adventure. It feels like I’m never more at peace than I am when I’m camping and exploring in the woods. Everything floats off my shoulders (except my pack) and fades away. There’s a saying that seems to always be at the forefront of my thoughts: “Into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” I have never found anything to be truer.

Is anyone else COMPLETELY fed up with the technology bull crap??? And then at the same time, how the heck are we supposed to get any work done without it?! While it kills me that right now both of my boys are inside glued to YouTube, my troubles are seeming to melt away. LOOK.

Honestly.

So here I am, enjoying this gorgeous weather, sitting in my gorgeous porch blogging writing a research paper on Carl Rogers and his Client-Centered therapy. Literally nothing else matters right now. Nothing.

I said I’d blog the crap out of this quarantine…but then it dawned on me that every single day is almost exactly the same as the last- so really, what is there to blog about? But today…TODAY is a day to remember.

1. I slept SIX hours without waking up.
2. Clint vacuumed and folded laundry.
3. I finished a big top secret project.
4. I MADE MEATBALLS.
5. And now I’ll refer you once more to the above picture.

Did I mention that I have to bang out two more papers (Carl Rogers, included) and then I’m done with my semester? Only two classes left after this one…and all of my clinical hours. My clinical rotations have all been put on hold due to COVID, so there’s that. But from where I’m standing, the end of my psych program is in sight.

So yeah…not too shabby. I don’t think I have felt this content in months.

Let’s see…..what fun things have happened since I last wrote? What Lockdown Excitement can I share with you?

Well last night we threw a sock onto the ceiling lamp shade and it stuck, so now we have a contest to see how long it will stay up there. Hang on… you need a picture to really understand.

GUESS WHAT. IT’S STILL THERE.

I mentioned how exciting it was that I slept six hours straight through. This is good for so many reasons…among them, my bank account. I online shop in the wee hours of the morning because that’s when my mind is running about all the things I need to do– or pick up– or whatever. Last week? I bought a case of Twizzlers because I wanted ONE small pack, but it turns out, the case was like $40 cheaper than ONE SMALL PACK. So if my kids come knocking on your door to buy Twizzlers for a school project, remember- I’M THEIR TEACHER AND I MAKE THE ASSIGNMENTS.

Who am I kidding? I haven’t done a thing for home school. You know who has been crushing it? CLINT. Literally father and home schooling teacher of the year. Currently he has the kids building a shelter in the woods that they can camp in. Cutting down trees…animal tracking…last night we got into an argument over whether or not our kids would become serial killers if we taught them how to trap a mouse and cook it over the fire. I tend to think that they’d be okay, but Clint is on a serial killer documentary spree right now so he’s not so sure.

OK. What other shit shows have I conducted this week? OH I KNOW. Here are a few of my favorites. This one is a close-up of Ty’s fashion sense. I told him that we were going to go into town to pick up Thai food and this is how the boy left the house.

Oh Ty. Ohhhh Ty.

And THIS gem is what happened when I tried to take a cute picture of Sam when he and I were lying on the floor before bed the other night.

ISN’T HE A CHARMER??? And look at the pure excitement in his eyes when he realized what he was getting away with.

So that’s it for now. And please…if you’re ever feeling like you have gone and lost control of your own damn life, let me know. I’ll be sure to tell you about how my youngest grabbed a Cutco knife and chased his brother around the kitchen.

Stay tuned. Next week I’m going to post pictures of my filthy house. Think dog hair…dust balls…weird things left in the shower…surprise dishes in the kid’s bookshelf… Really, you won’t want to miss it.

Now back to my boy Carl…

I was talking to a friend yesterday and telling her about an Easter visit we had from one of my besties and her husband. They drove over and set up some lawn chairs on our front lawn, and Clint and I set up lawn chairs as far away from them as possible without needing to scream at each other. We had cocktails and laughed; it was lovely. Yesterday when I told my other friend about the visit she laughed and said, “I hope you took a picture of that!” I hadn’t…and it made my start thinking a lot about why I haven’t been documenting more of this quarantine life we’re all living.

I think the bottom line about why I haven’t been taking more pictures, or posting more on FB, is because of one reason: so much of it has sucked, and I don’t want to put more negativity out into the world. This year alone, it’s been one thing after the next at our house. I had the flu after Christmas, then Clint. February brought the flu to Sam and Ty, followed by two rounds of strep throat for Sam, and then I had pneumonia at the beginning of March. Not exactly things that are fun to write about.

While our family has tried to recover from illness and adjust to homeschooling and quarantine, I’ve been working 6…sometimes 7 days a week trying to prepare our residential care facility for the worst-case scenario, while also hoping (praying) for the best. So, if I’m honest, it’s been hard to see the silver lining.

Then, it happened. Our favorite Thai restaurant reopened for curb side pickup and my entire outlook changed.

How is it that having this one shred of normality can have such an effect on our mood? PAD THAI, baby. KHAOI SOI. MANGO FREAKING STICKY RICE. Hell yes. NOT COOKING OR DOING DISHES. Holy crap we are sick of doing dishes.

Last night was better. I took a walk after work before coming home. We had takeout. I opened a new bottle of wine and it was FANTASTIC. We have found some super fun shows to watch as a family and I’ll have to talk about those on another day. For now, let’s get back to last night because I’m about to document the shit out of this quarantine.

You’ll see some of my pics from last night just below. Sam snuggled up to me for the evening (I’ll crumble when he no longer does this…) and he took it upon himself to paint my nails and he did an awesome job. One of my proudest moments was when he sifted through my nail polish and said “I really like the glitter ones.”

There’s also a pic down there of Sam’s favorite meal from Sabai Sabai…of which he ordered two because he needed to have leftovers (there are no leftovers). You may think it looks like plain rice, but I promise you. It’s TWO orders of STEAMED rice. He does have *some* class.

Following dinner, we all watched a show about magic, which led to our own attempt at magic card tricks before bed. While Ty and Clint read our very own Marcia Well’s Eddie Red: Undercover (shout out to Ben and Marcia and the whole crew at Marquis Theater…we freaking love and miss you all…), Sam decided he wanted to count to 1,000 and that he and I needed to start a vlog. Thus came the birth of Maria and Donovan (he’s Maria…don’t ask…). We laughed so hard last night that I hope we never forget it. And Clint is threatening to post our episode and IF IT LEAKS I WILL HUNT ANYONE DOWN WHO WATCHES IT AND/OR SHARES IT.

So welcome back, to anyone who chooses to read this. Mainly I just never want to forget some of these moments (the rest of them can suck it).

I’m not even sure where to start. I’ll start right where I left off last night….in my tent…and cold. I tried for hours to get comfortable and warm so I could catch a few zzz’s before our hike today. It wasn’t until sometime around 1am that I was able to drift a bit, and I was in and out from there. As always (literally, always) I had a montage of Hamilton songs floating through my head, and it took everything in me to stop singing along and to instead focus on the river flowing behind our site. It was a beautiful sound to fall asleep with.

I closed up my mummy sleeping bag around my face to warm my cheeks, in a desperate attempt to stay in my tent as long as possible this morning. And only when I thought I saw the sun rising, only then, did I lift my head. DAMMIT SCOTT! (It was his headlight). So now he knows I’m up and I have to keep up the charade. Except it is SO FLIPPING COLD. The morning started at 30 degrees, and once again I found myself cursing my tent. MENTAL NOTE: the crap piece of saran wrap that I attempt to use on the LT as an ultra lightweight tent IS NOT SUITABLE FOR WINTER CAMPING.

I ran to the bathroom, shivering and shaking, in the dark. I was worried about bears, because…remember the woman’s warning last night? DON’T GO NEAR THE DUMPSTERS IN THE DARK! Well, the bathroom was next to the dumpster. There were no bears…and I threw on several layers of warm clothing for the hike and headed back to the campsite.

This is where the morning REALLY started.

We broke down camp and then it was time. COFFEE. Not just any coffee…maple bourbon coffee. But alas, our fuel ran out before we could even boil water because we used it all to make our amazing backcountry pizza last night. This was a serious letdown. It was at this point that I refused to move another step without coffee, so we were fortunately able to find Dunkin Donuts not too far away.

We got to the trailhead at 7am, and it was already packed. We had hoped to beat the crowds, but apparently everyone else had the same idea. We headed up Falling Waters trail and started the 3,000 foot ascent to Little Haystack Mountain (elevation 4,780ft). The trail was steep right out of the gate. And packed. There were so many people. At one point we were all in a line just waiting to continue hiking. It made me think of a recent picture from the Hillary Step on Mount Everest where everyone stands around, waiting to summit.

Personally, I feel anxious when people are hiking behind me. I don’t like to hike behind strangers, and I know strangers don’t like to hike behind me. Mainly, I’m usually scared of wiping out, because I have wiped out too many times while hiking. And the last thing I want is to wipe out and hurt someone who’s right on my tail, or have the person behind me wipe out and fall into me. So, when the trail is crowded like today, I tend to step to the side quite frequently to let people pass. But this seemed endless for our first ascent.

Regardless of the crowd, this trail took us past some gorgeous waterfalls. Stunning. And we eventually broke off from everyone around mile 3 (ish) to an overlook of Shining Rock. It was a close call, seeing that the overlook would take us 0.1 miles OFF TRAIL, but it was worth it. Shining rock is a giant rock on the side of the mountain that has water running down it that freezes and shines in the sun. It was breathtaking. As we stood there, the sun was rising up over the ridge and shining on the rock and all the surrounding foliage. Well worth the additional mileage.

Feeling a little rejuvenated, we continued our climb. The trees got shorter and shorter, and eventually the path opened up to a huge rocky ridge. This is when our jaws dropped.

The Green Mountains are amazing. They are my home. I love them. But THIS…THIS WAS AMAZING. This had all the feels of Mansfield, but there weren’t any cute towns at the bottom…only mountains as far as we could see. Canada…Vermont…New Hampshire…all the mountains splashed with all the fall colors. People were dropping their packs everywhere and walking around with their cameras out. Beautiful.

And the ridge that we would traverse was staring right back at us. We had several more miles of ridge-walking to cover Mount Lincoln (elevation 5,089ft) and Mount Lafayette (elevation 5,260ft). The weather was warm and sunny, to instantly sunny and freezing and windy, and then back again. I must have changed layers six times on that traverse, and we sat to eat and take pictures on each summit. I think the last time I was in such awe was when I watched the sunrise on top of Jay Peak. This was incredible.

The ridge was rocky and continued to be steep, but at least the crowds had dispersed and there wasn’t too much ice. However, there was ice covering most of the vegetation–yet only on one side. The icicles grew sideways and covered trees and plants and grass. Seeing that against the foliage made us stop and stare every time.

After several selfies at the top of our final peak, we headed down. The Greenleaf Hut was about a mile away, and we were hoping to sit and rest out of the wind. We continued down the rocky path and eventually came to a flooded trail that required the use of stepping stones (that were also covered in ice). By this point, my knees were aching and shaking, and all I wanted was some solid ground. We made it through the icy swamp and pulled out all our food at the hut. Vincent made us bagel sandwiches with lox and cream cheese. The man brought TWELVE bagels for our hike…just in case we all became stranded and didn’t want to eat each other to stay alive. He deserves some serious props.

Bagels, cookies, M&M’s, cashews (jeezus, Scott, we’ll eat the freaking cashews already…), and other wonderful snacks were consumed, along with a little bit of Stonecutter whiskey. It warmed us up so we could get back out there. We still had three miles to go down Old Bridle Path.

The ice continued. And continued. And continued. At this point, it felt like the 3 miles would take us (me) six hours to complete. There wasn’t a joint on my body that wasn’t shaking or popping. At one point, an entire line of people were sliding down rockfaces on our butts, because we were all exhausted and didn’t want to slip on ice. But eventually the trail evened out, and the extra layers were shed, and our (my) pace(s) picked up. The hike ended in a lovely way, with soft sand and dirt, and plenty of schooling Vincent on which American “coming of age” movies he ABSOLUTELY HAD TO WATCH IMMEDIATELY upon returning home. The Princess Bride, Goonies, Stand By Me, Big…and I think that’s all we came up with for now. We’re happy to take suggestions!

We all lay down in the parking lot next to our cars and had trouble moving for a bit. They were only 9 miles, but they were a TOUGH nine miles. And honestly, unlike any 90 miles I’ve ever seen. Once again, I’m sitting here unable to stop looking through my photos, because I can’t believe what I just did. It wasn’t the physicality, although they were physically tough miles…but it was the view and the colors and the sheer vastness of mountains. It was an incredible day to be out, and it’s certainly not a hike I’ll forget. It was nothing but fun to be out with Scottie and Vincent again, and now I can check two mountains off of my 4K Footers list. Hmmm…I’m sensing the beginning of a new challenge!!

XO

LB

I didn’t think I’d be snuggled in to this piece of crap tent ever again, and yet here I am. And honestly I couldn’t be happier. I have every warm piece of clothing I could find in here with me, because it’s about 30 degrees right now in the White Mountain National Forest. My brother (The White First Aid Kit Walker in Heels) is in the tent next to me, and one-half of my “Canadian Friends” couple, Vincent, is just a stones throw away. It’s a bit of a reunion, and it’s lovely. Although we’re missing Justine, Emily, and of course, Tripp.

The drive to NH was enough to bring my blood pressure down ten points. Stunning colors…absolutely some of the best foliage I’ve seen since living here in Vermont. It’s the perfect weekend to be playing in the woods.

We got to our campsite earlier today, and it’s laughable how much different this “glamping” is compared to what we did this summer. (Seriously, Scott brought a tempur-pedic pillow… although that shouldn’t surprise you if you had been following my other posts!). We cooked backcountry pizza tonight…made the dough and all by the camp fire. Scott reveled in his fire-building skills (where’s Big Anthony when we need him???), and we sat around laughing and telling stories from this past summer and all the others before.

Tomorrow we’ll be exploring Franconia Notch and the ridge loop. My understanding is that it’s one of the best hikes in New England. But for the time being, I’m going to try to stay warm in this TERRIBLE TERRIBLE tent. Scott is going to wake us all up VERY early because he was late getting here today and wants to make up for that.

I’m currently laying in my tent, struggling to find comfort and trying all different positions and clothing for pillows, and the River is providing all the white noise I need…and I can’t stop thinking about that first 18-miler day…when I got to the campsite and all the ATers were there celebrating their resupply day, and all I could do was pitch my tent and crawl in and cry. I woke up that next morning, after a very restless sleep, and HATED the way I smelled. I HATED the way I felt. I had been out for 8 days straight, and was absolutely miserable. I hadn’t slept- I missed Clint and the boys- and I couldn’t figure out why on Earth I was out there doing this they-hike. It didn’t make sense to me at that point anymore. It makes sense to me, now. I’ve missed being out here, in the woods, freezing and worrying about bears traipsing through my campsite at night. How is that??? I can’t get enough of the smell of the forest- the leaves and the dirt and the river…and the sounds, and wildlife, and the freedom and lack of email! I don’t think there’s any place I’d rather be.

The woman at the site today told us that the bears are very active right now and that we shouldn’t go near the dumpster after dusk, because they’re loading up for hibernation. So we shoved everything into our cars and now we just lay here, hoping they don’t rub up against our tents tonight while we try to sleep. It does feel safer than it did the night that Big Animal and I slept in that stealth campsite and listened to the race horses all night and someone came and STOLE MY CROC while I was sleeping! Man, that was such a creepy night! And yet we made it through and my croc was found just on the other side of my tent in the morning…and it didn’t even have any teeth marks in it…

I’m really happy to be back.

XO

Ladybug 🐞

After all the peaks I’ve climbed, and all the views and overlooks I’ve enjoyed, I’m still in awe of Snake Mountain every time. I’ve been hiking Snake for 15 years- and have been up to the top close to 200 times in those years. It’s close to home… it’s a great workout… and it’s probably one of the best views in the state. And every time it gets me.

It felt great to be out again today. It was my first time in the woods since I left the trail on July 7th. My knees held up, which is funny because I still have to take stairs very slowly and I can barely stand up if I squat down. But out on the trail, my knees felt good. I even ran a bit. And you know what else I got to enjoy? Black flies! Gosh I’ve missed them.

Willie Nelson came along with me and made sure to bark at Every. Single. Person. So, that was nice. But all in all, he did very well. And we trucked it. I pushed myself hard after the week of vacation-eating and drinking that we all just enjoyed. In fact, most of the time it was too hot to eat so we had to sustain on cold Coronas and frozen daiquiris. It was tough.

So I “grinded” those few miles today to honor all my 20-something friends I met out on the LT…how they smoked me and laughed as they pranced through their 20-mile days, while I ugly-cried and threw things like my poles and occasionally my full pack. But today, with just my camelback, I definitely felt like I could have at least kept pace with them. Next time… 😁

I can’t stop thinking about my next “thing”. I’ve been watching the Fastest Known Times website and wondering if I could beat any of the records. Could I do the LT supported in 4 days? Or unsupported in 6? I can’t imagine it, but it seems like a fun goal! Might be something to consider for my 40th!

We leave for Maine tomorrow. Ty will be spending 3.5 weeks at a sleepover camp…all by himself. Sam and I will be working at a different camp for the month, and Clint will drive back and forth to visit us between gigs. We’re all excited to get back- there truly isn’t anything like working at a camp for the summer…and Maine is such a lovely place to be. We love it.

So for today, the kids are going to lay around and do nothing for an entire day as they recover from 7 days in the sun and ocean with all their cousins, and prepare for the next month of running around and doing just about anything their hearts desire. I got my hike in and will do some shopping for last minute supplies. Clint will attempt to do yard work- but at this point our landscaping is a complete lost cause so he’s literally going to just weed whack every overgrown plant on our property. And then we will see Big Animal for some dinner and wine. Very much looking forward to that.

Happy Summer!

LB 🐞

I don’t know which was more dangerous…hiking Mt. Abe in the thunderstorm, or skipping a month of therapy. Thankfully I survived both.

I was driving down the road yesterday and singing at the top of my lungs. Belting it. Giving it every thing I had. And it occurred to me that the last time I had belted it so hard was when I was hiking through bear and moose country all by my lonesome. It was after Big Animal had left and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to stay out there on my own. I hated being out there on my own. I was scared. And so I sang…LOUDLY…for all of my hiking hours per day. And it didn’t matter, BECAUSE THERE WASN’T ANYONE ON THE TRAIL. This was the stretch of time when I went a few DAYS without seeing anyone…when I would sing loudly, have conversations with myself, yell at the trail, pee where ever I felt like peeing…I hated those days.

But then here I was yesterday, giving the new Aladdin soundtrack all I had (honestly…did you think it would be anything else???), and I was instantly brought back to those moments in the forest, scared out of my wits…and I was overcome with emotion and burst into tears. WHY??? Because suddenly I longed for just that…solitude…forest…(I’ll skip the fear of bears part–my life is fine without that, thank you). Suddenly I’m back in society, with loud noises and lots of people talking everywhere I go….suddenly I can’t burst into song whenever I feel like it (HAHAHA LET’S BE HONEST LIKE I REALLY CARE WHO’S AROUND)…suddenly I need to find a bathroom and have to close the door to pee. WHAT?

I found myself feeling less afraid during those last two weeks. Not because there were more people on the trail, but because I really felt a lot more comfortable with the forest. I hadn’t seen any bears. I had yet to be attacked by a moose. There weren’t any sketchy people around me, shooting guns everywhere and asking me how far I was hiking that day. It surprised me when I realized that…and yesterday it surprised me that all I really wanted was to be back in that forest, alone, singing, and begging the trail to send me a blaze so I knew I wasn’t completely off-track. All of that sounds lovely, now, as I rush through the chaos of the day. There were moments out there when I stood in the middle of a dense forest, without any real sign of a trail before me, having not seen a blaze in quite some time, when I thought, “Ohhhh…this is how people die out here.”

I sat with my therapist today telling her about all the ways I felt slightly more “mature” now. “Do I really need to give it this much energy? Seems like I probably don’t, unless somehow it’s going to strike me with lightening. THAT seems like something I should conserve my energy for…” And I definitely believe that. I just took all this time off this summer so I could stop pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion, literally so that all I could do was push myself to the brink of exhaustion. But that was exhaustion that was necessary for survival. Now, as I “reenter” (yes, gag, I know it’s only been a few weeks…), I can’t help but ask myself with almost every single decision, do I really need to do this? Does it really matter if I do, or don’t do this, right now? Honestly…there’s not much that does.

So yes, I made my therapist VERY proud today. Either that, or I sounded completely narcissistic and manic. But either way, I felt like she should be proud, because I’m proud of how I’m starting to look at things. Will I die if I don’t do this? Yes? Then probably do it. Will I die if I DON’T do this? No? Well, then do you really NEEEEED to do it? Probably not. Oh wait, I CAN SAY NO TO THINGS???? Who knew! It’s a bit refreshing.

Sleeping in my bed has been lovely. Catching up on Bachelorette with Clint has been lovely. NOT eating foil-packet tuna has been faaaaaaantastic. However yesterday for breakfast I ate a tortilla wrap with peanut butter, Nutella, and banana chips because that meal will NEVER get old. And I thought about Plant the whole time…because I’ve never met another human being who hoarded tortilla wraps quite like he did. Eating ice cream HAS BEEN LOVELY. Showering? LOVELY! Mani/pedi and haircut? LOVELY! Eyebrow wax and then the women tells me to stay for a facial so she can “get rid of all my sun damage”??? Sad…but then lovely. Snuggling with my kids? LOVELY.

Stay tuned. I am still working on my photo journal that I’ll post upon completion, and I am still working on my Shout-Out blog post. There are MANY MANY MANY people who deserve a ginormous shout out for all their support and help along the way…I have absolutely not forgotten about that. In fact, I’ve been writing it in my head for a week, now. But I’m also curious to hear what you all think…should I keep blogging? Some people have reached out and told me to write a book about this experience. I don’t know that I’m there, or that there’s even enough material for anything more than an op-ed…but I love the encouragement! I do love writing, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether I should keep updating this site, and if yes…with what? As you’ve probably learned, I’m basically an open book, so there really isn’t anything that’s off the table. Wait….ugggghhhh…I don’t know. I feel like that’s a dangerous statement. So, we’ll go case-by-case on that one.

On a side note, I had to remind myself NOT to take my pants off in the middle of TJ Maxx the other day. I have become so used to dropping my drawers where ever I am, regardless of who’s around (because what other choice do you have after hiking 18 miles in a rain storm when you show up to a shelter that is packed with people?). This became an issue the other day when I wanted to try on a pair of shorts and literally had to stop myself, in mid action, from removing my pants in the middle of the aisle. I actually think I should have just done it because I hate having to go to the changing room and it would’ve saved me a lot of time in the long run…but…you know…”societal norms” and all…

Cheers,

The Mighty Sparkle.

It’s such a gorgeous day today. I’m sitting at my kitchen table grading exams and staring out at the Adirondack mountains, and all I can do is think about whether or not I should go for a hike. My knees beg me to just sit and enjoy this, but my heart is yearning to be outside and in the trees.

You know, I walked away from this journey with only a bruise on my thigh (from walking into a log…as one does…) and a black and blue toenail that may or may not fall off. Yes, my knees are swollen and there is a sharp pain every time I bend or straighten my legs- BUT THAT’S IT. The swelling in my joints will go down. The bruises will go away. I went into this thinking that there was a good chance that I’d break something…and I had that thought so many times out on the trail. There were SO MANY times I slipped or fell…barely catching myself with my poles or a rock. There were times I tripped and envisioned landing flat on my face…only to somehow regain balance. I am in awe of my body and what it has been able to do. And truly grateful. I don’t want to ever take this for granted, and I feel this burning desire to keep pushing myself, just because I can right now. Someday I might not be able to do these things that I love so much…and that is going to be a tough day. So in the meantime, I better live it up.

I have printed out a list of all the 4,000 footers in New England, and I’ve printed up a list of the Adirondack 46ers. I’m super fortunate to be working from home this next year, so I am going to make it a priority to get out into the forest as often as possible. I’m already researching new long-distance hikes, and I honestly never knew just how many thru-hike opportunities we have in this country. There are so many fun things to look forward to…Clint and I are even starting research on the Camino de Santiago….a walking trail through Europe that we’ve both been interested in since we learned about it a few years ago. As Sarah said to me, many times as we ran up and down mountains together, SIEZE THE DAY! Nothing has ever felt more true and more necessary.

“Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” -John Muir

I’m in bed. Wait….let me say that again. I’m in MY OWN bed. My skin has lotion on it. My hair has seen shampoo. There is Ben & Jerry’s in my belly. I’m in bed.

I really, desperately, need to go to sleep right now. I’m beat. Cooked. Done in. But I’m so overwhelmed by all the support I’ve received, from all of you reading this, that I felt like I needed to get this out tonight. I haven’t been on Facebook in a week, and now seeing the love that everyone has been sending…I’m just so overwhelmed. Thank you.

There is so much to say about today. Last night Tawny and I were sitting in the shelter with Vincent and Justine, and we were talking about our experiences out on the trail and what keeps us coming back. We were all laughing because Vincent and Justine were telling us that they aren’t “outdoors people”, and yet they’ve now thru-hiked the Long Trail AND the Appalachian Trail together. “Why?” I asked.

We all agreed that it’s not just the hiking. Yes, we love being in nature. Yes, we love pushing ourselves to see what our body can do. But we also love the people…the culture…the unplugging…all of which helps us to recharge our spirits. And now that this adventure is over, there are so many emotions that are coming along with that. I’m so happy that we did this. I’m so proud of my body and proud of myself. I’m so thankful for my friends and family who supported me in so many, many different ways. I am feeling so much love for the people I met out on the trail, and I already miss them so much. My dad asked me today how I was feeling and I was honest when I said, “Sad. I really miss my friends. I miss having shitty days and coming in to the shelter to complain about it. I miss eating meat sticks wrapped in tortillas and wishing that I had more food. I miss going to bed really early and not sleeping at all, and then waking up to hear the rain pouring down and having to put on my boots.” All of it. I already really miss all of it.

We can get back to this. But for now, let’s get into the meat and potatoes of the day.

2:00AM: the alarm did not have a chance to go off because I was already awake. See above paragraph re: not sleeping ever while on trail

2:15AM: drop crap on the floor and wake everyone else in the shelter up.

2:30AM: pack up all my gear in the dark by the fire pit so I can not continue to wake everyone up…but honestly, at this point, I had already done that.

3:00AM: Tawny and I head out for our hike up Jay Peak with our packs and headlamps.

3:00-4:00AM: “What was that?” “Is that an animal?” “That sounded big.” “I’m sure it was nothing.” “Where are we?” “Where is the trail?” “Are we on the trail?” “Oooo! Look at the stars!”

4:18AM: Tawny and I arrive on the summit of Jay Peak…30 minutes before scheduled arrival.

4:30AM: Delta, Plant, Giggles, and Pig Pen arrive at summit

4:30-5:30AM: Words cannot express how amazing this sunrise hike turned out to be. We cooked coffee, crawled into sleeping bags, gazed at the sky and our 360 degree view of the Green Mountains, White Mountains, and Adirondacks. We could even see some Canadian peaks out there as well. I have always felt lucky about living in Vermont…but this hour on the top of this mountain…with these people…and the pure beauty of everything around us…I’ve honestly never had an experience like this in all my life. I will never forget this. Ever.

5:30AM-1:15PM: Longest miles of our lives. Honestly. For real. What the hell. They never ended.

Somewhere around 12:30pm, Tawny and I heard voices up the trail. Ben and Clint had made it in and were talking to our friends just up ahead. This moment rocked. From then on, we all bounded down the trail listening to Clint tell us, every 5 minutes, “You’re so close.”

Then we saw it. The End. Journey’s End. Justine and I RAN down the trail and I had an image in my head of us completely eating it right as we attempt to reach the border. Thankfully that did not happen, and we were able to jump and hug and yell and cry instead. I can’t put into words how this felt. Hopefully the pictures will help.

So as I said, I’m back home, in my bed, icing my swollen knees. I have so much more to tell, and so many pictures to share, but for now I’ll post a few from one of the best days of my life.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear this…but it rained today. Our feet are wet. Prune-like. Our socks will never dry. Ever. There are puddles in our shoes. Lakes, even.

We all said goodbye to Corey this morning and wished him luck on his journey. He was aiming for at least 40 miles today. In the rain and thunderstorms. Yikes. You can follow his progress on fastestknowntimes.com to see if Corey Wilcox has broken the Southbound Unassisted LT hike. You’ll see a pic of him at the bottom of this post. Truly badass what he’s trying to accomplish.

Last night was the first night I actually slept out here. Hard. I woke up at 4:10am (after 8 hours of sleep) ready to go and feeling absolutely amazed that I slept without tossing and turning all night. Lovely.

Tawny and I crammed 12 miles into today, and still got to camp by 3pm. It rained buckets on us. The thunder was loud. We played alphabet games to try to ignore our wet, cold feet. We’re still stuck on band names that start with “Q” and “X”, so let us know if you have any!

There weren’t any views today…just a bunch of ups and downs and fake summits. The terrain wasn’t bad- in better weather this could be a nice day hike. There were come cool cliffs to see at Haven’s Notch.

We’re now at the base of Jay Peak, and we’re planning on a verrrrrry early rise so we can get to the peak for a sunrise breakfast. Our whole gang is going to head up together…Plant, Delta, Giggles, Pig Pen, Baby Steps, and myself, Ladybug. It will be a great way to end this trip.

There are 11.9 miles left…out of 272. Tomorrow is day #23 for me…I’m speechless even as I type. I’m happy, shocked, amazed…lots of different feelings going on right now. Feeling all the feels.

Clint and Ben are hiking in tomorrow to meet Tawny and I on the trail, and then we’ll all hike out together. I’m certain I’ll hug that monument at the northern terminus….for probably a long time until it makes everyone else feel a little uncomfortable. And then I will beg Clint to take me for tacos back at Stone Corral in Richmond.

The shelter is once again complete with our group and filled with laughter. There has been an attempt to change my trail name to Med Kit because every night I sit out with my bag of Advil, Benadryl, Imodium, and laxatives, offering them to anyone who walks by. Hysterical. Maybe for next time…

We are all curled up in our bunks now, and I have completed our nightly ritual of reading the trail description for the next days hike, while emphasizing words like “gradual”, “moderate”, and “steep”, and also singing a song I learned in French class about steak. My Canadian friends love it and each night I try to add a few improv dance moves to go along with it.

Ready to drift off now…

Happy trails,

Ladybug 🐞 and Baby Steps 👶🦶